How is the Italian version of Christmas different? 66. Visit people only once a year. May Lord Jesus’ blessing be always upon you and may your heart be always filled with laughter. Funny Christmas quotes and short clean jokes to celebrate the yule fool in all of us. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” — Bill Murray, 20. “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” — Andy Borowitz, 16. Event Planning. “Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” -Kin Hubbard. You are posting comments too quickly. Today, we bring to you the awesome bundle of Short Christmas Wishes For Loved Ones. “I grew up on a Christmas Tree Farm so this is a good season for me. 'Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. Christmas quotes remind about the day. Annie Spratt via Unsplash The winter Holiday season is my favorite time of year to spread my infectious cheer through crafts and writing. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” -Shirley Temple, “That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”-Jerry Seinfeld, “The worst gift is a fruitcake. Add some festive fun to your feed, too, with these 50 holiday Instagram caption ideas. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. 1. ”I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” — Maya Angelou, 4. “I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.” — Earthman Adam, 70. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, ‘Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.’ The paper I used said, ‘Happy Birthday.’ I didn’t want to waste it, so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it.” — Demetri Martin. How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…. “Christmas is always a problem to the man who has to convince his kids that there is a Santa Claus, and his wife that there isn’t.” — Evan Esar, 74. Everyone says it’s the season to be jolly. He must be a pacifist. “People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.” — Anonymous, 68. “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.” — Elf, 34. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. – Melanie White. If you don’t like me, remember its mind over matter. He must be a communist. The very best Christmas jokes. Dec 28, 2012 - funny christmas quotes, do not get your tinsel in a tangle. How Can My 'Ask Marilyn' Question Be Published. It’s a season to celebrate like never before. Greetings of the Season and Best Wishes for the New Year Enjoy the magic of the season. During the year things get busy, but Christmas is a day to relax and be with the family. But if you’re not in a festive mood just yet, this list of 100 funny Christmas quotes should give you a few Santa-worthy belly laughs. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. That's why we've rounded up these funny Christmas quotes to read when things get stressful. Short, Funny Holiday Sayings to Make You Laugh Everyone says it’s the season to be jolly. Use them for your custom holiday outfit, or pass them along your social networks to friends you know need a good laugh. Visit people only once a year.” — Victor Borge, 13. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced, distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used, without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group. On christmas day is international holiday in the world. — Winston Spear, 17. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’” ― Dave Barry, 30. “One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. Let's get cheery - ho-ho-ho! “You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” — Robert Paul, 62. Short Funny Quotes. “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”. And long hair. The celebration of Christmas remains strong in the heart of those who believe. “Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace.” — Jimmy Fallon. “Santa Claus has the right idea. 1. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. People will insist on giving me books.”-J.K. Rowling, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”-Maya Angelou, “I love Christmas. Maybe it’s the Christmas spirit talking (the real one, not the booze-filled one), but spending a little time with the family to … - Andy Borowitz Santa Claus has the right idea. They include short excerpts from Charles Dickens, Dr. Seuss, and Maya Angelou, funny quips that make great captions, or additions to your DIY greeting cards, and quotes that, above all, spread the spirit of Christmas. They look so nice on the pumpkin. “It’s easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.” — Craig Ferguson, 10. So this Christmas, let’s make the holiday more fun with these funny Christmas quotes sayings. Here, we have collected some of the best short Christmas quotes for you. “Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” — Frank McKinney Hubbard, 43. Christmas is the perfect time of the year to celebrate the love of your family, friends and blessings of God. “I grew up on a Christmas Tree Farm so this is a good season for me. Because I got her an Xbox.” — Anthony Jeselnik, 65. 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